8 posts tagged “bugs”

The weirdest thing happened Sunday night - I woke up at around 2:30 and heard a noise in my studio apartment that sounded like someone was turning a key in my door. I totally freaked out and ran over to the door but couldn't see anyone out of the peephole and the lock wasn't moving. I figured I must have been hallucinating so I went back to bed - then the same thing happens like 30 minutes later. And it sounds exactly like a key turning in a lock, which, especially since I'm on the ground floor, was super super scary. My first thought was: It's the bugs. I don't know how, but it's the bugs. I'm being haunted by the ghosts of bugs past. In my mind I did a mental tally of how many bugs I have killed since all this began whether by shoe or broom or magazine slapping, or poison... I figured roughly 700 billion. OK, that's totally enough bug ghosts to make a ghost key in lock sound. AND given that these bugs are assholes, it is TOTALLY something they would do.... 

What an insane morning... I'm in charge of this project in London that's a total last minute thing, and with the time difference I didn't get any of the details confirmed until this morning, and the project is tomorrow... not how I usually like to get things done. I spent my morning begging an agent to call me back and then begging someone in our London office who had already left for the day to find me a driver and a car for tomorrow morning. Needless to say I have no nails left and my begging voice is all worn out. I may have even offered to buy a house for the girl in London who got me the driver and the car... I hate these nail biter last minute projects but there is this amazing senes of holy shit I can't believe that got done that's vaguely satisfying... that is until you realize that nothing is actually done yet and you have to wait to see how the project actually goes... Sorry for being so vague about what I do for a living, I'm just not sure I want to be public about it. 

So I broke down and bought a pair of yoga shorts for my bikram class, I figure I go enough that I can justify the $30, and they really do make it much easier to do some of the standing poses becuase the fabric doesn't bunch up or get snag anywhere like the looser shorts do... 

What a strange week it's been already, I kind of feel like I'm sleepwalking through it a bit. The only down time I've had is when I'm sleeping. 

To the bugs in my apartment: I think there may have been some confusion about what was supposed to happen after the exterminator came... this may have been my fault, perhaps I wasn't clear about this. You were supposed to die. You were not supposed to start swaggering around my apartment with glow sticks like teenagers just getting out of a rave. The aimless swaggering may indeed be stage 1 of your demise. Perhaps the poison takes a while to take effect... I do appreciate the apparent abandonment of my cutlery drawer. I do not, however, appreciate your new fondness for that wall near my bed... If I can I would like to suggest another location to you - the basement. It's f-ing disgusting down there and far from my apartment, you will LOVE it. 

To the bugs in my apartment: Screw you guys. Seriously. I don't know what your recent surge in numbers is about, if it's a right wing reaction to the exterminator coming tomorrow or what but it's not going to work. You're about to be sprayed with some really bad shit. I hope they send me a really bad ass exterminator too - one who's maybe a little bit crazy and a little trigger happy with the chemicals. I'm thinking Mel Gibson as he was in Lethal Weapon. A little suicidal, a little loose cannon... 

I had a great idea for a new screenplay today. I was so energized by the idea that I started writing notes down and ran through sheets and sheets already... (ok, fine, it was a small notebook, but you get the idea)... I think this is also the antidote to the post-project blues - start a new project. I think part of the blues was missing that momentum that you get when you're continuously working - when you're writing a lot you want to be writing a lot, when you're working out a lot you want to be working out a lot. It sort of all feeds itself. 

Just got an email from my screenprinter on the west coast that my shirts are done and are on the way! I can't wait. THe deal with the shirts is this, there are three designs. Originally my ex-boyfriend, a screenprinter in Brooklyn, was printing them for me. Nice guy, not a great screenprinter. So he screwed up one of the designs and that's been holding me back from getting this thing off the ground. This was all happening as we were breaking up too, so that may have had something to do with the screw ups. As my therapist once said, "Do you think maybe this is why people don't work with their ex-boyfriends?" It was a good point... So I finally sucked it up and found another screenprinter and ordered another set of tees. They should be arriving on the 28th.